IKEA

If you really yelped this, you're not from this planet. :D

HEY IT'S IKEA come on.

But ineed IKEA is doing this saving program all around the world. The quality is worse than 5 years ago. And you see how new sliding doors of PAX' became very thin and how they change all the furnitures because they are trying to save a little everywhere.

Leider die schlechte und gleichzeitig teuerste Kaufentscheidung. Küchenlieferung nicht vollständig, selbst Sachen abholen müssen, Zahlungsart fehlgeschlagen, Küchenteile nicht mitbestellt, Kundenservice unfähig, Beschwerde nicht wahrgenommen...Rate von einem Küchenkauf ab

I am disappointed in the employees at this establishment. They do NOT smile, have a bad attitude, and even the young woman with glasses had bad breath. We tried to return some items as they were brand new. There was an old lady that helped us and she did not let us return most of our stuff because she told us there was one speck of sand on the items. She was unhelpful and took her job so seriously that her life depended on it. I think it would have been a more enjoyable experience if the employees were kind, relatable, and could actually help is return our unused items. I like IKEA, just not this one. Do not go here!! Bad employees!!!

Came here for breakfast and it was excellent. Many types of food and drinks. There are few cakes and sandwiches. Several choices for meat and cheese. Fresh breads. I took a full plate of eggs, Two sausages, 2 breads, butter and nutella and a cop for unlimited drinks for around 8 euros or less. Highly recommended.

I've been to all 3 IKEAs in Hamburg because, uh, I'm clearly an IKEA junkie. Is there a support group for that? If not, there should really be. This habit is definitely going to shave a few years off my life.

They each have their pluses and minuses, but I tend to frequent this one the most because (1) it's the easiest to get to by car from Eppendorf while avoiding city traffic, (2) it has a bigger self-serve warehouse selection than Altona, (3) it's also a faster in/out than Altona, and (4) parking is free.

Downsides to this location are that (1) there are no shortcuts in the layout (so you have to follow the arrows like you're back in kindergarten), (2) it's basically only reachable by bus when it comes to public transportation options, and (3) you have to go through the exit and against the flow of traffic to get to the Customer Service/Returns department. That last one is the most counter-intuitive layout decision I've seen at an IKEA globally (yes, globally... I said I was a junkie).

Some tips for this one:

If you just need something from the Marketplace or Warehouse, go through the exit and slip through the self-checkout lanes. It'll be faster than going through the entire showcase flow.

The external parking lot is faster than the deck. It's closer to the entrance and faster to leave. If you do end up in the deck, use the stairs. The elevators are always swamped.

They have big paper/cardboard and packing material bins in the external lot.

For your sanity, avoid coming here during their post-Christmas sale, especially on the 2nd of January. You're not being smart and beating the crowds. Everyone in Hamburg is going to be there.

If you do end up here when it's crowded and need to return something, go grab a number from the Returns desk, do your shopping, and then come back to the Returns desk. They'll probably be still 10 numbers before you. Watching what people return will amuse you for the rest of the time. Everyone seems to break a mirror over Christmas.

Not sure which IKEA to go to in Hamburg? My decision tree:

Altona if you want to use public transport and need something small from the Marketplace or show floor. Avoid the elevators if you can. The Returns desk is only accessibly by elevator.

Moorfleet if you're using public transport and need the largest self-serve selection (check the IKEA app for deets). You also have a Bauhaus next door. Fastest delivery desk is here.

Schnelsen otherwise.

Now I'm going to go seek help for this addiction.

I love the prospect of creating my own livable spaces, so Ikea functions perfectly as a warehouse of artist's tools. I love the mixing-and-matching of items and especially love walking down the isles daydreaming what everything would look like once it comes together. I'm especially fond of their lighting solutions and decorative items as well as their kitchenware and storage solutions. A+ for creativity, price, accessibility and the brilliant hot dogs they sell at checkout :)

Well, Ikea's Ikea - same all over the world! They had a live and playing to welcome you in but it just felt so contrived - and felt sorry for the talented musicians who had to play the Ikea venue. Friendly staff but not a trip for a relaxing day out.

I love this Ikea.. it has a huge parking lot and a bus that takes you there as well. The layout is nice and the store is organized very well, so things are easy to find. The restaurant has a huge seating area as well, so you'll always find a seat. This ikea also has a huge "fundgrube" alot bigger than I have seen in other stores and it's not far to walk from the store to the parking lot.

IKEA, what a hellish place! My tip: walk backwards and you get the good stuff first!

A great place to buy very practical furniture and other household goods. They make some really good stuff and the new car park makes it a lot easier. The only problem I have with this Ikea is how busy it gets on a Saturday really annoying. (I try and get out of the shopping and head upstairs for the tasty köttbullar.)